How You Can Have Your Best Year Ever

It’s hard to believe 2017 is right around the corner. It seems like I blinked and now it’s mid-November. ApproachingMichael Hyatt Achieve What Matters 2017  year’s-end gets me thinking about what I’ve accomplished during the previous 12 months. Goal-setting has always been challenging for me. It seems easy enough to write down the goals, but a few weeks–or even days into the plan, and I’m already struggling. A couple of years ago, I signed up for Michael Hyatt’s 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever goal-setting course. I felt like my first stab at it went well for 2015. I moved forward in several areas where I’d felt stuck–but still, I knew there was room for improvement. Last December when the opportunity came to take the course again, I decided to go for it!

I knew I needed extra help/coaching to keep going beyond what Michael calls “the messy middle”–the point where you just want to give up and throw in the towel. I signed up for the VIP plan which was a special offer for course alumni. What did I have to lose? Throughout the year, I’ve received a monthly coaching video from Michael as well as a quarterly Q&A session. It’s so helpful knowing I’m not alone in this process. I can’t say I’ve had perfect success with each goal, but I’ve made undeniable progress. Now that’s something to celebrate!

I bought a large white-board to track my progress. There are lots of computer apps out there to help with this, but I like having something I can look at that’s BIG! Some of my encouraging “wins” this year include launching my first self-published children’s book (on my 2015 list, but I didn’t quite get there) and retiring from my day job–a long-held dream that I finally got the courage to pursue. There will always be areas where I can improve — being more consistent with writing (now that I have more time) and being diligent with a weight-loss plan and exercise. What’s so encouraging about this course, is that it’s never too late to dig in and take those first steps forward. This course helps you get clear on what really matters and why it’s important to you. Your “why”/motivation for reaching a particular goal is a huge component in being successful. You can ask yourself, “What will happen if I don’t reach this goal?”

This is the 5th year for 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. The course has been completely revised with a ton of valuable information added. One thing I can tell you without a doubt–any course or product Michael Hyatt offers is exceptional and well worth the cost. I’m a very grateful student. Because I’m so convinced of this course’s value,  I decided to be part of Michael’s launch team, helping to get the word out and encouraging you to check it out. It’s really been a life-changer for me.

Michael will be offering some amazing free information in the next few weeks. I’ll be sure to let you know how to access it. Even if you decide you’re not interested in taking the course, the eBook, life assessment and webinar will be worth checking out.

Today is the first day of Michael’s launch and he’s offering an eBook, Achieve What Matters in 2017. This is an incredible download… with more than 30 thought leaders, influencers, and high achievers all sharing their top strategies for starting the year off with a bang.

You can get the whole PDF (no cost) here:

http://bestyearever.me/a20085/2017ebook

You’ll recognize many of the names as they include
multiple best-selling authors, speakers, and
leaders of their respected fields.

People like:

Tony Robbins
John Maxwell
Dave Ramsey
Marie Forleo
Andy Andrews
Jeff Walker
Amy Porterfield
Lysa TerKeurst
Andy Stanley
Chalene Johnson
Lewis Howes
(and many others)

It’s all available here:

http://bestyearever.me/a20085/2017ebook

Enjoy!

P.S. As we get closer to the start of 2017, the
timing on this couldn’t be any better. The
insights were pretty incredible. Take a look
for yourself!

 

 

country-road

New Hope for Marriage Weekend Retreat…for wives who are struggling in their marriages and looking for refreshment and hope. Join Christie Miller and Deb Kalmbach in the beautiful Methow Valley and get ready to be encouraged! Contact: Christie@FreshLookThinking.com or debkalmbach@centurytel.net

Date: October 28, 2016—October 30, 2016
Time: 16:00
Event: New Hope for Marriage Weekend Retreat
Topic: Hurting marriages
Public: Private

Coming Soon: Kosmo’s Christmas Delivery

Joey's cover art

Joey Palmberg’s cover art

I’m so excited about the upcoming launch of Kosmo’s Christmas Delivery. I had a hunch our dogs, Kramer and Kosmo, would be excellent characters for a children’s book. They’ve certainly racked up enough adventures over the past 15 years with a significant amount of trouble accompanying their antics. Yep, that’s capital T for trouble! I once thought if Kosmo were a monkey, he could be Curious George’s cousin. How can one small dog create so much chaos?

Even though Kosmo’s Christmas Delivery is fiction–it’s inspired by real life events. No doubt about it, Kosmo is a big dog in a little dog’s body. He likes to hop on board the UPS truck when we have a delivery, charge into the grocery story if he’s off-leash and the doors conveniently open, or race through any local restaurant–if the doors are open. In fact, if any door is open, it’s a neon sign inviting Kosmo to come right in!

Once when Kosmo escaped in my parents’ neighborhood, an open door to a neighbor’s house looked particularly inviting. A man sat on a couch reading with at least 5 cats perched behind him. Yikes! I could only imagine the bedlam if Kosmo found that open door. I politely asked the man if he minded closing his door so we could avoid all that.

Another time, Kosmo got loose when we were visiting our son. Even though his back yard was fenced, that sneaky Kosmo found a way out. We searched the neighborhood and couldn’t believe it when we saw Kosmo leading a parade of other dogs who were chasing him, followed by a frustrated dog-owner trying to retrieve his dog.

Joey Palmberg, Kosmo’s illlustrator, is working hard to complete the illustrations which are beyond cute. It’s been fun to see how pictures bring the story to life. I can’t wait to finish the book so we can send it out into the world. We’re planning a mid-October release. Stay tuned!

 

Friends For Life

Friends that Last a Lifetime

Captain Kalmbach gets ready for another adventure!

A couple of months ago, Randy and I traveled to Austin, Texas for a reunion of the 15th TRS (Tactical Reconnaissance Squadron) which was stationed at Kadena Air Base, Okinawa, Japan. We had an amazing time reconnecting with old friends. Most we hadn’t seen in more than 36 years, but we discovered that time didn’t matter. Our experiences had bonded us together in ways I hadn’t imagined. I couldn’t help but think that each of us had been divinely appointed to be there during those years–1978-1981.

As we reminisced, we wives wondered how we had ever survived being on an island the size of New Jersey–most of us with young children, with our husbands gone half the time. The guys flew RF-4s, the reconnaissance or “recce” counterpart of the F-4 Phantom fighter jet. They spent 2 weeks on temporary duty in South Korea where the 15th TRS operated a detachment. Then they returned to Okinawa for 2 weeks, a cycle that continued for the entire three years of our assignment. Randy never unpacked his suitcase!

At the reunion, we laughed about the challenges of coping with life on Okinawa, mostly by ourselves. Back then, it hardly seemed funny. When a typhoon threatened the island, our husbands left us behind to get the planes out of harm’s way. You’ve got to be kidding! I thought. They leave and we stay? To their credit, the squadron always left a few guys to check in on us, making sure we had everything we needed to weather the storm. We were grateful for that!

Communication (or the lack thereof) was especially challenging. We didn’t have any phones. This was long before cell phones or texting. Can you imagine? When Randy left for Korea, we were incommunicado–except for the “Phantom Express.” Other crews whose 2- week rotation was up brought letters from the guys who were still there. I still treasure a box of Randy’s “Phantom Express” letters.

Even though we dealt with our share of inconveniences, we knew we weren’t alone. Some of my dearest friendships were forged on Okinawa. The friends who sponsored us when we arrived gave us the lowdown on how to deal with life in a very foreign country, i.e., how to avoid mold growing on your shoes in those dark, damp closets among many other tidbits of helpful advice. One friend faithfully came to visit every Tuesday after work to encourage me and share her faith. Another friend’s joyful, optimistic attitude bubbled over and became contagious– no matter what you were going through. I knew I could always count on these friends. They made all the difference during those three years living overseas.

So when Randy and I received the invitation to the reunion, we hesitated to travel so far for a weekend spent with people we hadn’t seen for several decades. Neither of us anticipated the sweetness of reuniting with friends who had walked a very unique journey with us. Randy separated from the Air Force after our Okinawa assignment in 1981. Those who stayed in the service commented that they never experienced this depth of friendship at any of their future military assignments.

Maybe that’s because tough circumstances tend to draw us closer together. I’ve learned through the years to watch with anticipation to see who God brings across my path to help me find my way. After all, friendship may be the closest reflection of God’s love for us that we will ever experience. I’m convinced that some of God’s brightest reflectors happened to be on Okinawa at the same time as me.

 

 

Let Compassion Guide Your Social Media Conversations

Heart of compassionMaybe it’s just me, but it seems like social media conversations are often lacking in compassion. There doesn’t seem to be much restraint as people are quick to vent their emotions online.  The result is a nasty, mean comment that hurts!

I recently read a troubling conversation thread on Facebook. My friend had posted a picture of her son who would have turned 34 that day. The photo showed him on an earlier birthday, blowing out candles on a cake. My friend simply wanted to remember him in better times. Last fall,  he was killed in a tragic series of events. Sadly, he had suffered from mental illness. One day he snapped and killed three people on a random shooting spree near his apartment. Then police shot and killed him. There’s no way to understand the intensity of pain and anguish felt by each person affected by this tragedy. This would be any parent’s worst nightmare.

Most people who commented on my friend’s Facebook post had only words of compassion and support. Really, it’s impossible to find the right words. Then as I scrolled down the page, the mother of one of the victims weighed in expressing her raw anger and bitterness. The conversation that ensued seemed like a posting free-for-all. My heart ached for my friend and for this mom who are both dealing with an enormous burden of grief. I was thankful for a few voices who brought some reason and compassion into this volatile exchange of words.

Social media has brought many positive changes–the ability to communicate with a large audience, to keep in touch with friends by simply sending out a short update. Text messaging makes it possible to contact people quickly and efficiently. But lately, I’ve been more aware of the downside. Maybe it’s because you don’t look into the eyes of the person you’re communicating with, that makes it easier to send out brutal comments and criticism. People are quick to judge the mother whose child climbed into the gorilla habitat at the Cincinnati Zoo or the parents of the toddler who was attacked and killed by the alligator at Disney World. You just write whatever is on your mind and then hit send. There’s no compassion or even an attempt to understand what the people involved are experiencing. The biggest problem with social media communication? Once those words are hurled into cyberspace, there’s no way to retrieve them. The sting of negativity is there forever. It used to be that when you had a verbal confrontation with another person, there might only be a few witnesses, if any. Now, a Facebook or Twitter post can be viewed by hundreds if not thousands or even more.

Last Sunday, my pastor talked about how damaging words can be. He referenced James 3:1-12, a scripture passage that tells about how something as small as our tongues can be so destructive–just as a small spark can start a huge firestorm. (Something we’re painfully aware of here in central Washington as another fire season begins). The same guidance for speaking can be applied to our social media conversations. Instead of rushing to comment and pass judgment on others, maybe we should pause and ask ourselves the three questions Pastor Jeff mentioned in his sermon:

1. Is it true?
Do we know the facts about what’s being said–or is it hearsay?

2. Is it helpful?

Is what we’re considering passing along something that will have a positive impact?

3. Is it necessary?

How important is it that we share this information?

Maybe when we feel strongly about joining a social media conversation, we need to put love and compassion first and leave judgment and criticism behind. Most of us are struggling through life to do the best we can. And if there’s a need to confront or express our opinion, we can consider how to communicate this in the most loving way possible.

How do you respond to negative comments on social media?

 

 

Forgiven: Accepting God’s Amazing Grace

In 1992, artist Thomas Blackshear II, painted a picture titled Forgiven. It took my breath away the first time I saw it. The image is a contemporary man wearing a T-shirt and dirty jeans, holding a mallet in one hand and a nail in the other. The expression on his face is desperation and exhaustion. Standing behind him and holding him up, is Jesus. His nail-scarred hands appear large and strong. His face is tender as he embraces this man, a picture of God’s love and forgiveness, the real message of Easter.      He-is-Risen-from-StudioJRU

Tears welled up in my eyes. The man in the painting reminded me of my husband Randy. He had tried over and over to stop the deadly spiral of alcoholism that he was caught in. Sometimes he broke down in sobs of desperation and anger. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop drinking–even though it was destroying him.

But this painting gave me hope. Though Randy’s addiction seemed hopeless, as a Christian, I had to believe that Jesus was right there loving Randy, and that his arms wrapped around him would never let him go.

One week before Easter in the early 1990s, Randy agreed to have our pastor and others pray for him. Pastor Mark and several others placed their hands on Randy’s head and shoulders and prayed. It was powerful. We all felt the intensity of God’s presence. Pastor Mark turned to me and said, “Deb, here’s your husband back.”

I noticed Randy’s eyes seemed clear and at peace, no longer tormented. He felt free! Sadly, after a week of experiencing this miraculous freedom, the old patterns crept back in. Randy struggled with his addiction until 1998 when he finally came to believe that God loved him and had forgiven him. Grasping that truth made all the difference for him. He has been free in Christ since then!

Today, on Good Friday, my thoughts have turned to this painting and the picture of a defeated and desperate man. Tears come to my eyes as I realize once again, the power of forgiveness. Maybe Randy needed that very real taste of freedom he experienced in order to ultimately be able to accept God’s unconditional love for him.

Really, Randy is no different from any of us. We all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. We all have held the mallet and nail in our hands, demanding our own way, instead of humbly submitting to God. I like to think I would never have been part of the crowd shouting, Crucify him! I know better, though. Without God’s amazing gift of grace and forgiveness, I’d never have submitted my life to Him. Only through the pain and heartache of Randy’s struggle with alcoholism, was I finally able to surrender.

I can’t do this.

God can.

I will let Him.

Whatever challenges you may be facing today, the promise and hope of Easter always follow the desperate darkness of Good Friday.

God can do anything, you know–far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Ephesians 3:20,21 (MSG)

 

We could never learn to be brave or patient, if there were only joy in the world. -Helen Keller

New Hope for Marriage Retreat

If you or someone you know is struggling in her marriage, I’d like to invite you to consider New Hope for Marriage, a small group retreat to help wives find hope for their hurting and conflicted marriages.

We’re now taking reservations for the Spring Retreat which will be held at Cedar Springs Christian Retreat Center, just outside of Bellingham, Washington, April 29-May 1, 2016.

Christie Miller, my co-facilitator, and I are passionate about helping other women come to the Lord for a transformation and healing of their marriages. We know–we’ve been there!

For more information, visit: www.nwspeakers.com

 

Marriage Advice for Wives: 5 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Got Married

Randy & me just starting on our marriage journey

Randy & I  starting on our marriage journey

Yesterday my husband Randy and I traveled to Wenatchee, our nearest “big” city–only two hours away. I had an appointment with the endodontist (dentists who specialize in root canals) and found out I need to return to have the troublesome tooth pulled. Boo hoo! It’s not a big deal, but not fun either.

But what made the day so pleasant was having my best friend with me. I could’ve made the trip by myself. No problem. Yet Randy insisted on taking the day off to come with me. On the 4-hour round trip, we  chatted about our family, the weather, world events and politics, our budget, and dreams for our future. We escaped the snow and enjoyed spring-like temps, taking a walk on the trails by the Columbia River. We topped off the day by shopping at Costco–really fun when you live hours away from shopping opportunities.  In spite of the disappointing dental news, we had a great time together.

That’s what I love about being married to Randy. We just “do life” together. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Being in the ordinary days, for the long haul–and enjoying the day-to-day moments. It wasn’t always that way, though. We’ve certainly experienced our share of marital struggles.

Recently, a friend who was hosting a retreat for young wives, asked several more “seasoned” wives to write 5 things we wished we’d known when we got married. She compiled our advice and presented it to the younger women.  I would’ve loved to have this help when I got married!

My list could have included way more than five items, but here’s what I came up with:

1. I wish I’d had a better understanding of what it means to love.

I thought all we needed in our marriage was love, but my model wasn’t the selfless type of love described in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13. My concept of love was being married to a man who wanted to look into my eyes (on a daily basis) and tell me how much he loved me. I had watched way too many romantic movies—especially the 1970s Love Story where the main character’s words of wisdom were “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” A more experienced wife could have asked me, “And how’s that working for you?”

2. I wish I could have accepted and appreciated my husband for who he was and not for who I thought I needed him to be.

I thought marriage was all about being happy every moment of every day. Talk about unrealistic expectations! Some of Randy’s most endearing qualities are the ones I thought he needed to change. I’ve learned that love isn’t always expressed in words. If I’d been paying attention, I’d have realized that Randy’s actions spoke volumes about his love and commitment to me.

3. I wish I’d had the spiritual maturity to understand that God often uses difficult situations and relationships (especially marriage) to reflect who we are and to help us grow to be more like Him.

God uses adversity to refine us and shape us into His image…if we are willing to partner with Him and wrestle through the tough times. It’s way too easy to quit before we have run the course. Our marriage is much stronger today because we didn’t give up, even though there were many times when we both wanted to throw in the towel.

4. I wish I’d had the courage to speak truth (in love) to my husband. 

I was too afraid to rock the boat, to tell Randy how I felt about issues in our relationship. Instead, I expected him to be a mind reader and guess what was bothering me. When he asked, I’d say, “Oh, nothing’s wrong” instead of being honest with him. Learning to communicate has made all the difference in our relationship.

 5. I wish I’d had enough faith to really believe “all things are possible with God”–even seemingly impossible marriages.

It’s true that hindsight is 20/20. I can see a lot today that I couldn’t when we first married. There’s no way to compare the maturity of a 19-year old with the woman I am today who has grown through life lessons experienced through 45+ years of marriage. Yet, having even a mustard seed of faith to hang on and believe God is able to do far more than we could ever have imagined, would’ve gone a long way to find hope in the tough times.

It’s impossible for us to know everything about marriage when we first start out. So much is learned along the way, by trial and error. The good news is that no matter where you are on your marriage journey, God is faithful to see you through. And a little advice from others who have been there is always appreciated!

What is one thing you wish you’d known when you got married?